My boyfriend and I are about to have a child, and we don’t quite agree on the topic of screen time. I lean more towards zero screen time until our child is mature enough, given the concerns about how it can affect development.
My boyfriend thinks my approach is too strict and that it might be impossible to implement in today’s world. He believes it’s better to allow screen time but with tight restrictions from the start, so we can maintain control.
I’ve seen many parents struggle with kids throwing tantrums when their iPads are taken away, and I worry I might face the same challenges. I know it’s easy to think I’ll do better than other parents until I’m actually in that situation.
For those of you who have been through this, what’s the best strategy for managing screen time? Has anyone given their child screen time and later regretted it? Or has anyone successfully tried the no-screen-time approach?
I don’t have kids myself, but I grew up with screen time, and it didn’t pose any major issues for me. However, I do agree that it’s essential to control and limit it, especially during the early stages of development. While I think a zero-screen approach can be beneficial, it might be hard to fully avoid screens in today’s tech-driven world.
In my view, finding a balance could be key. Controlled screen time with clear boundaries could help your child develop healthy habits, without making it feel like a forbidden fruit. It’s all about moderation and knowing when and how to introduce screens responsibly.
Ultimately, each child and family dynamic is different, so it’s great that you and your boyfriend are already thinking about it ahead of time!
Here are the recommendations of American Academy Of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry:
Until 18 months of age limit screen use to video chatting along with an adult (for example, with a parent who is out of town).
Between 18 and 24 months screen time should be limited to watching educational programming with a caregiver.
For children 2-5, limit non-educational screen time to about 1 hour per weekday and 3 hours on the weekend days.
For ages 6 and older, encourage healthy habits and limit activities that include screens.
Turn off all screens during family meals and outings.
Learn about and use parental controls.
Avoid using screens as pacifiers, babysitters, or to stop tantrums.
Turn off screens and remove them from bedrooms 30-60 minutes before bedtime.
Personally, I think 0 screen time is a very strict approach. Children must adapt to their time and environment. Screens aren’t just harmful, they can provide learning opportunities.
You just have to moderate and set rules.
We all had similar opinions before our little ones arrived in this world, but reality always catches up with us
Thanks for you reply, I grew up with no screen time until I was 5 b/c my parents were too poor to afford a TV and I don’t feel that I’m that different from others either. I agree with you that finding balence is key, what I’m scared of is losing control of it.
I like the approach of acting on the content of the screen time instead on the screen time Itself. Constructive educational content might be the best compromise
I have 3 kids, 19, 21 and 23. They’ve all turned out wonderfully. Here is what I recommend (and by the way, it’s very, very tough to implement because of all the pressure coming from all sides)
1- the less the better because most of what they watch on screen is crap
2- the later the better, again for the same reason
3- show them how to navigate, how to use the device
4- screen time in a common areas, like kitchen, hallway, etc. Basically so they can’t hide somewhere with the device.
5- time limit the screen time
6- screen is connected to a router which you control. Black list sites, time of use, etc can be controlled, to an extent. If my kids hear the word NetGear their eyes start to twitch.
7- I would say no phone until 16, you can explain why. It’s like why can’t you drink or smoke before a certain age ? There are good reasons why. Heavy stuff is just a few characters away, I’m still baffled as to why there aren’t more controls on the web.
8-have a no phone policy ex: phones are left in the house entrance, no phone at dinner table, no phone during conversation, no phone vacations, etc.
FYI parents, if you need to give your kid a phone in order to soothe your constant concerns about their whereabouts, maybe the problem isn’t the phone.
Thanks for your reply, I especially like those two points. Screen time only on common areas is good way to prevent isolation and can help sharing interests. I’ve seen some good strategies to limit screen time through the device OS options directly
For me, it will be a big concern, especially in the beginning, and it could cause problems in the child’s development. I need to protect him as much as possible until his brain is fully ready to receive information other than what his father or I, as well as the school, will provide.
Dad of a six-year-old girl here. It’s true that kids can get completely absorbed by screens—it’s kind of scary. Sometimes, it feels like you’re watching little zombies.
Here’s how we handled it: Around age 3, we started with cartoons, 20 minutes max per day, always with one of us sitting with her. Since she turned 4, she sometimes watches cartoons alone, still 20 minutes max per day. We also started watching full Disney movies together as a family, but only one movie per week.
We don’t have a TV at home, just a projector, which is more discreet. So there’s no screen constantly visible or accessible. I’ve got neighbors who have a TV but use a different strategy: they put it behind cupboard doors. Same idea—don’t make the TV too tempting or visible.
For older kids, I like the idea from @Julien about only allowing screens in common areas.
